Reflections . . .

A Cry!

You know how much I love you; I trust you and remember you, no matter what.

You also know that there are days, when I strive for your presence so passionately cause I am clueless except you. I know only you can hear me, heal me and heal the ones for whom I seek your abundant love and compassion.

For the past few weeks and especially past few days, I have been shedding uncontrolled tears while whispering your name thousand times.

The other day, I was driving across the crossroad of koteshor I smelled a foul smell, I rolled my eyes to see where the smell was coming. On my right, next to the busy road, I saw the rotten body of dog. His body had big hole in his back bone and his mouth was open with his jaws exposed, his face was facing towards his back with a hole. Though he was half decayed I could hear his howl that he made in pain. I felt he died by crying his pain, still looking at his pain, still feeling his pain, still shading tears, still crying his heart out. Dear God, he was a small innocent dog, I have never seen dogs taking lives of other dog, lying, cheating, . . . still why did he have such painful death? Dear god, will you please take care of his consciousness which must be as hurt as his hollow back? Will you please cure him? Will you please make sure he will be happy and content now in his soul consciousness if not during his body consciousness ? Please do let me know.

Dear god, I have next urgent request too. Just yesterday, I was passing through thimi to koteshor road. Again I saw a calf; he was also lifeless in almost the same posture as the innocent little dog. But he was yet to decay. He seemed to have passed away recently. Again desperately, passionately with squeezed heart and tearful eyes, I asked for your love for him and for me, I was wounded yet I was alive. He was wounded but he was dead. Dear god, did you hear me then? If you haven’t yet, please hear me now and please make sure he is fine in his bodiless form. Please!

And today, I was passing through thimi-bhaktapur road. On the way, I saw another little calf not more than 3 years old. He was lying in the line of fence. His hind part was covered with his feces, all smeared up in his tail and his hind leg. He was staring towards his back, listless, blank stare. I don’t know how he felt but I missed his mother. I so badly missed his mother beside him. Dear god, please god, will you please take care of him? And will you please give insight to someone like him to move towards lustrous green forest rather than wandering in the street where his life is always at threat? Or will you please give heart to the people who threw him in the road? Or dear god, please help me decide the course of my life. I have graduated in psychology; I am trying to be useful to human kind especially after this major disaster so I am travelling everyday to Bhaktapur. Shall I continue helping with my utmost capacity to humans or shall I devote my life to these animals whom mankind have forgotten?

Please god, please help me find the way in which I can help myself and my creatures whose pain squeezes my heart beyond limit. Dear god,. . or else it will be difficult for me to tolerate this life.